The five gentlemen pictured here are the finest players in world football, and arguably, in the order shown, at least on current form. Not only are they bestowed with sublime technique and athleticism, they are all, moreover, absolutely gorgeous.
This summer's FIFA World Cup in South Africa promises to live long in the memory, in terms of spectacle, glamour, individual brilliance, team flow, local colour, immediate reportage, and a Twitter-style feed of constant eye candy.
But who will win? Brazil and Spain (the latter being the reigning European champions) are the top two in FIFA's World Rankings, but this competition has been won before by the power of a single genius, often operating within an average team, who dominates to the summit. Think Diego Maradona in 1986.
Lionel Messi (Argentina)
The 22-year old Barcelona forward has risen to become the best player of the contemporary game, with a dazzling combination of skill, speed and vision. He has scored 88 goals in just 144 appearances for club side Barcelona, whom he joined at the age of just 12, including four in a single game against Arsenal.
However, he has yet to truly replicate this form at international level; Argentina coach Diego Maradona, who has referred to Messi as his 'successor', will hope to bring out the best in his star man.
Cristiano Ronaldo (Portugal)
Portugal are historically either the nearly-men or nowhere-men in international tournaments; the closest they ever got to hoisting the gorgeous, golden Jules Rimet phallus (this year to be transported in a bespoke, handmade case by Louis Vuitton) was in 1966, inspired by the great Eusebio, when they lost in the semi-final to eventual winners England.
Since then, Portugal have boasted some of the finest talent in Europe, not least in the form of 2001 FIFA World Player of the Year (and über-hottie) Luis Figo, but have never reached the heights of their potential, somehow losing to unfancied Greece in the final of Euro 2004 - in Lisbon. Ronaldo was on the pitch that day, but a shadow of himself, tamed by the scathing criticsm his ugly gamesmanship against Wayne Rooney (the famous wink) had bought upon him.
Fast-forward four years and everything is different. Although he retains a haughty, self-important stance, to the annoyance of many critics who feel it stands in the way of his enormous talent, the 2008 FIFA World Player of the Year and new face of Emporio Armani is in scintillating form on the pitch, and as you can see here, in similar shape off it.

Wayne Rooney (England)
Hopefully this picture will finally dispel all preconceptions of the Manchester United striker being little more than an uncouth, pie-noshing scally. I'm sure most of us would gladly fall asleep (and wake up) on that lovely hairy chest, and while the beard looks rugged and tough, being clean-shaven quite enhances the allure of his thickset jaw.
He's also a terrific player. Since making his professional debut with a match-winning wondergoal against Arsenal at the age of just 16, Wayne Rooney has carried the nation's hopes on his ever-broadening shoulders, supplanting David Beckham as the critic's ideal of the modern, world-class English footballer.
Give or take the odd lapse in judgement, he hasn't disappointed. While not as showy or glamorous as Messi or Ronaldo (the latter of whom eclipsed - some would say stifled - him during their time together at United), he commands equal status in the game thanks to his unique combination of genuine creativity, wonderful technique and committed aggression.
England's fans will hope that their greatest player for a generation will stay calm (no repeats of the Euro 2004 sending-off) and spearhead their most astute finals performance since 1990.
Didier Drogba (Ivory Coast)
Arguably the greatest contemporary African player (to be argued between him and Inter Milan/Cameroon striker Samuel Eto'o), the Ivorian striker combines, to borrow a phrase once used to describe Zlatan Ibrahimovic, 'the physique of a bouncer with the feet of a ballerina'.
None of this stops him from polarising opinion, however. His club side Chelsea, for whom he is often spoken of as indispensable (managers have lost their jobs for daring to drop him) often fared well without him last season while he was injured and/or suspended, but he finally proved his worth by finishing as the Premier League's top goalscorer, ahead of Wayne Rooney. However, his indiscipline (he once screamed, wild-eyed, into a referee's face that his performance was a 'f***ing joke', on prime-time live ITV) remains an issue, and at the age of 31, can he change?
Pele might have been over-ambitious in predicting that an African team would win the World Cup before 2000, but with Drogba at his best, the Ivory Coast has every chance of galvanising the continent.
Fernando Torres (Spain)
This blond assassin, also known as El Niño, is probably the deadliest predator in world football. Graceful, fleet of foot and with a degree of upper-body strength that belies his skinny frame, he is a superb athlete and prolific scorer of sublime goals. The Liverpool striker is currently the most coveted around, with the world's three richest clubs, Real Madrid, Chelsea and Manchester City, each drooling like feral dogs at the prospect of signing him. Liverpool ended last season a disappointing seventh and so cannot give Torres Champions League football next season, a competition no top player wants to find himself precluded from.
Moreover, internal turmoil at the currently-managerless club, with feuding American owners Tom Hicks and George Gillett reviled by the fans, may yet force the sale of its prized asset. A strong World Cup challenge with Spain, who are for many the best team in the world, would drive his transfer value up even higher than its current estimate of €50 million, potentially forcing cash-strapped Liverpool's hand.
By Paul Mendez